&now you're lonely looking for yourself out there.

I feel sick. you know when it's just one of those bad days where your stomach just sinks and your heart pounds? and the more you think about the reasons for how you feel, the more convinced you are that you're actually sick? yeah, that's how i feel. i know i'm not literally sick. i just feel so yucky thanks to life itself right now. i literally feel so stupid right now. it's 12:29 and rather than calling someone or even sleeeping for gosh sakes, i'm venting to a freaking computer screen..even though i'll get absolutely noothing out of it. heck, i'm sure i'll consider deleting this whole thing after i post it. but who knows i guess. i just get tired of talking to people about my life. what can they offer me? they're opinions?; they're always the same. they either side exactly with me which makes me feel less dumb and all, but it doesn't make me feel any better about how stupid people can be. or they disagree with me and try and tell me what to do. i guess their thoughts are respected, but not what i'm looking for. i don't know what i'm looking for. i guess sometimes i feel like having people around is pointless because they always end up disappointing me one way or another. whether it's by something they did, or just because it never actually worked out staying friends. But then other times it sucks not having anybody around. sometimes, things will happen, and i'll want to just tell someone. just to know that i could share one moment of my life with someone who could listen, and feel the same things for that moment as i did. the excitement, or the anger. whatever it was, sometimes it just feels good to have someone there to reassure myself that i'm not going crazy and that maybe i'm not toootally alone.
But i am. and it sucks. And i'm not exactly sure what to do about that. Or maybe what to think about that anyways. i usually try to avoid thinking about it because it stresses me out.
Gosh i feel like such a whiner, i just had to tell someone how i felt! well, i guess i just told the whole damn world how i felt. isn't that a scary thought? well, i think i had my say for now. i'm going to go eat my feelings now, watch some movies, and hope i fall asleeep for about ten hours. sorry this blog totally sucks and we don't keep up well at all! we'll do our best to be better bloggers..even though we don't have any followers or no one even reading it anyways. ohwellll.
goodnight to whomever actually reads this.

Grouchy, much?

ahhh! Megan gets home tomorrow night! exciting much?! yes, it is. well, it's been an incredibly long past few weeks. I haven't had a computer because it's been being fixed at the shop. blaah. oh yeah, and how can i forget, last week i had double camps. volleyball for three hours in the AM. basketball for three hours in the PM. I was pretty much drained after everyday. Thursday though i did get to go with my basketball team to Six Flags. It was a blast minus all the petty drama that will always be there because there will always be petty girls. shocker there! Sometimes i just wish i could rip their hair out and see how petty they'd be then.



yes, i am a ninja. i would kick their butts! ahhh, maaybe. ;) anyways, "Bobby" got ungrounded saturday night! it made me a pretty happy girl. but, i do feel weird about it all. he says less than usual. it's a bit frustrating, but what can i do!?
For those of you who don't know about my "bobby" ha, it's a long story to say the least. he is my very best friend that i happen to have totally fallen for. Will it happen? probably not soon, if at all. Our friendship is the best thing that has ever happened to me. and he says i'm "the best friend he's ever had." yeah, in other words it's never going to happen right? i get mixed signals sometimes. but then again i'm not very good at reading them either. All my friends ask about us and want it to happen. which of course makes it so much easier. i'm young and know i shouldn't hold out and all, but this kid is seriously so much more than i can put in words. even though, i'll probably still try later on. (sorry!)

Lately my head has been spinning, not just on boys, but a lot of things. Little things. I'm thinking of redoing my room. Currently, it's purple. it feels so kiddish and it's getting old, frankly. I've been thinking of painting it red. and then getting black and white bedding. i've like, invisioned all this already! my mother though thinks i should leave it how it is because "all my accesories already match the purple!" like that will stop me. And two nights ago, i spent literally five hours cleaning out my closet. yes, bagging up clothes to get rid of, going through all the storage kept in the way back of my closet, getting rid of over half of it, reorganizing it all again, sweeping and dusting inside my closet, putting it all back together, and moving clothes from my drawers to my closet. entertaining, aye? i felt pretty accomplished with myself. The next morning that is. When i was done that night i was exhausted.



I'm sure i literally did look like this on my way to bed.!

anyways, i would love to redo my room. ideas anyone?! let me know if you have any at all, i'm open to them! Well, ontop of that redoing, i'm in need of major wardrobe redoing. And in order to do that, i need money! and to have that, i need a job! and to have that i need more time! eff my life.

oh well. i think i'm just PMSing. i think that's my underlying problem this week.
i need to call it a day. before i start rambling about useless stupid stuff. and i have to babysit allll day tomorrow. a blast!
I'm going to go eat a pickle now. i hear they help with tummy aches!
ta ta for now!
:D
happy? nawt, but it's worth the effort of trying.

It IS possible to miss corn, and the oh so familiar smells of ADM.

So, I'm leaving Hawaii in two days. It was soooo nice to get a break. Trely needed... but I find myself missing home. Missing the smells, my friends, taco bell, and a certain boy. I won't go into detail of my vacation, because les be honest. Who the hell wants to read about someone else's 3 week hawaiian vacaion? not me. so iwon't do that. I have other things to talk about like the certain boy.. lets call him... paco. So paco has been my friend for nearly 3 years now. Sweet right? Except I knew I wanted more from the start. Not so sweet. So I've played friends this wholetime. We went t homecoming last year. Sounds serious, right? but nothing. Then I though maybe he's just gay. But then we went out on a date, and you know that moment all girls hope for? The one you see in he movies? Picture it: You're climbing out of his car to walk into your house. You REALLY hope he pulls you back in quickly, taking your every breath away in this amazing kiss. Well, that's what i kept dreaming of, and I got nada. That was okay with me, until he stopped talking to me entirely. Sucks huh? yeah. So depressing. Then out of the blue, I'm talking five monthes pass and I get a text. Now ever since then, we text non stop. Litterally. And now I don't wanna pass up my chance.. because I really think I los it last time. I'm almost a year older, so I should be wiser right? This time, since he doesn't have the ball I guess 'm gonna have to say it first. Just three words, ne for each year of friendship. I-Like-You. We'll see how this goes. any truely good advice? I think there's a comment box up in this jint somewhere.
-Megan Bad.

lemon meringue pie!

Have you ever had it? i haven't. don't even know what it is. but i found a song called lemon meringue tie. it's pretty freaking sweet. gosh, sorry, it's been awhile now since we've updated. Megan is STILL in hawaii. lucky daaawg. but it's okay. i've been surviving. i'm beating the odds. megan said she was 54% sure i wouldn't make it. well, HA! megan! let's see, what's new with me? wellll, i got my best friend/loveofmylife/biggestproblem grounded for two weeks. talk about leaving me on a lonely two week guilt trip. he doesn't have his phone for another week. good lord. since i'm sure i'll say alot about him, i'll just call him "bobby." mostly because that reminds me of bobby and bonnie. (: Anyways! i went to the eclipse midnight premiere. frigggin awesome, lemme say! i've gotten pretty darn tan for a pale girl. my deoderant smells great. i have about 8 mosquito bites. and i get to go to Six Flags on thursday! woot!
well, that's all for now. if you know anything about lemone meringue pie, let me know. :)

first blog entry ever! aah!

Hellllo bloggers.
I'm Megan A, the second Megan to this blog. I'll be writing all my entries in this teal color, just to clarify. It's summer and i couldn't be more happy about that even though all i've done is basketball and volleyball and desperately tried to get tan. I'm not a very exciting person, but i'm easily excited and i always have some kind of story to tell. But megan insists on vacationing in hawaii for 24089359018 days. so for 24089359018 days, i won't know what to do with myself. so hopefully i will keep up with this blog some. well, i think that's good enough for a first blog entry, i don't want to bore you and megan is going to braid my hair, because, she's the artsy fartsy one and is good at that stuff. So ta ta for now! (:

The start of summer.

Megan Boerwinkle=Purple. just sayin'.
Okay, so here we are and June is like already over... basically. Which totally sucks because all I've done is work like crazy. For the last three weeks I was with my dad, I'm sure that in the future you will all here a lot more about how sucky he is. Anyways, lets just say, I am happy to be home. I leave on Thursday for Hawaii, so hopefully my blogs get more exciting. That's about it for now!